


Joy

by Emilie_786



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alien Planet, F/M, POV Chakotay (Star Trek), Romantic Fluff, That may be my style, What Can I Say?, more fluff than plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28624875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilie_786/pseuds/Emilie_786
Summary: An orchestrated meeting on an alien planet, a mysterious hidden object, and the senior staff meeting everyone has been waiting for.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 109
Kudos: 74





	1. Late Afternoon on an Unnamed Planet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Curator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curator/gifts), [Voyagirl47](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voyagirl47/gifts), [CaptainCoffee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainCoffee/gifts).



> This was inspired by Curator's "Feet on the Ground". Voyagirl147 and CaptainCoffee, you both inspire me with your works and have motivated me to keep going on this one. Everyone else--this fandom is so fun and awesome and it's because you all make it that way!

“Starfleet protocols clearly state—“

  
“Tuvok!” Chakotay closed his eyes and took a breath, in and out, purging his frustration as he exhaled. Tuvok’s eyebrows raised at Chakotay’s Vulcan-like display of emotional control.

  
Chakotay began again, “It is important to me, personally, that I spend some time with the Captain on this planet.”

  
“Protocol dictates that one member of the ship’s command team remain on board at all times. The logic behind the regulation is sound. In the event of an emergency, which, may I point out, is more likely to occur here in the Delta Quadrant—“

  
“Starfleet missions typically last three years or less. Protocols for longer deep space missions are different than they are for standard missions. A seventy year mission would require unprecedented modification to protocols and regulations.”

  
“That is logical, Commander, however—“

  
“The Captain has approved us leaving the ship together in the past.”

  
“That is correct, Commander, nevertheless—“

  
“One hour, Tuvok. You can keep a transporter lock on me if you like.” Chakotay knew now why Kathryn simply issued orders when she wanted off the ship. Perhaps he would have to do the same, but given the circumstances, he wanted Tuvok’s cooperation. Because if Tuvok couldn’t support him spending an hour planetside with Kathryn he surely wouldn’t support what Chaokotay hoped to accomplish on this trip to the surface. Hopefully after today he would never need to have this highly logical conversation about shore leave with Tuvok ever again.

  
“Very well, Commander. Please remain in areas where the com and transporter are fully functional. The crystalline mineral structure on this planet cannot be penetrated by our systems, so please refrain from entering caves or canyons.”

  
Chakotay closed his eyes and sighed. “Thank you, Tuvok.”

  
He stepped on the transporter pad, keeping his fist clenched tightly. Why Starfleet uniforms were made without pockets he would never understand.

C=: C=: C=:

Chakotay found Kathryn sitting on a rock overlooking a waterfall. At the base of the waterfall, on either side of a crystal clear pool, was a meadow full of vivid wildflowers in blues, greens, and shades of violet with the occasional burst of fuchsia. Deep blue butterflies—Chakotay realized they must be huge to be seen from this distance—danced over the flowers. The colors, the entire scene, was so beautiful, but at the same time quite alien. There was nothing brown or grey on this planet. The rocks were all colorless crystal, and many were as clear as glass. Completely absent were the warm colors of the spectrum: red, orange, and yellow. Twin suns shone with a perfectly white light in an aqua blue sky. The suns were getting low in the sky, and their light made the waterfall shimmer.

  
Chakotay walked up behind Kathryn. With the noise from the waterfall he knew she couldn’t hear his approach. He didn’t want to startle her as she was perched on a crystalline rock less than a meter from a twenty meter drop. While considering the best way to alert her to his presence, he took a moment to appreciate the contrast Kathryn made to the vibrant scene around her. Her auburn hair was thrown back, messy and natural. Her dress was a deep rust color. She looked like a bit of Earth on that alien world.

  
Home. She looked like home. But that was normal.

  
“Chakotay to Janeway.” He had to frame this correctly.

  
“Janeway here,” she sighed and he saw her shoulders slump a bit as she touched her combadge.

  
“Kathryn, I don’t want you to fall, so be careful and turn around.”

  
She turned and smiled, visibly relaxing when she saw him on the path. It had been so long since they had spent time together off duty. Lately even their weekly dinners were in uniform and conversation rarely strayed from ship’s business. That’s all they were anymore: Captain and Commander. Hopefully that would change today. Chakotay really didn’t know what his odds of success were but he thought it would be pointless not to try. What did he have to loose? They couldn't get much farther apart and he didn't want to live alongside Kathryn for the next several decades with their relationship the way it was. He decided to proceed without preamble, because he had told Tuvok one hour and he wanted to have time to talk to Kathryn after. Whatever the outcome, they would need to talk.

  
“Kathryn,” he began, and a little late Chakotay realized he needed to prepare her a little so she would at least take him seriously, “We have been together now for five years and I—“ he stopped at the look on Kathryn’s face. She was pulling away and he was afraid she was going to stop him so he hurried on,”—love you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to wake up next to you each day and spend my life making you happy. Will you marry me?”


	2. Evening on an Unnamed Planet

Kathryn was obviously stunned. Chakotay knew she would be but seeing her fold her arms and back away and then turn away from him hurt. What were the chances she would turn around and run to his arms now? Well, he could wait. He had been ready to wait 70 years, and he still would if that was what Kathryn wanted. 

“Why now?” She asked without turning around. 

Chakotay wanted to give her space, but he could barely hear her over the noise of the waterfall and he needed her to hear his answer. He took two tentative steps toward her and began, “I knew it would surprise you,” (Kathryn huffed at that) “but it makes sense to me. Starfleet frowns on fraternization between commanding officers but recognizes and has protocols in place for married officers.”

“Yes, and one can’t serve directly under the other. You couldn’t be my first officer,” Kathryn suddenly coughed or hiccoughed a little and turned her head farther away from him. He wished she wouldn’t hide her feelings like that, but he knew he should have been used to it by then. The walls between them were long standing.

“No, I couldn’t. I couldn’t be a bridge officer either. But you no longer need a symbolic Maquis first officer. Our crews have merged, and the Maquis are doing fine now under Starfleet regulations. Plus, I’ve heard Vulcans make excellent first officers.”

Kathryn was indignant, “You were _never_ a symbolic first officer!”

Chakotay just smiled a little and went on, “I’ve thought of several other positions where I would not report directly to you.”

“Oh really?” Kathryn finally turned to him.

“I could work for B'Elanna in engineering, or I could take over the airponics bay, or I could help Seven in astrometrics—“

“She would never—“

“No, you’re right. I know she likes working alone, but I would do it if you wanted me to. If it meant being with you. Or, I could help Neelix in the galley, or—“

Kathryn took Chakotay’s hand and he stopped speaking. He looked down at her hand, and then at her eyes, looking for hope, and began again, “I could be a school teacher. We may have more children on board someday.” Kathryn raised her eyebrows at that. “I didn’t mean our children. Unless you wanted to, of course,” he quickly amended. “I really would take any position on board. I’ll scrub the deuterium injectors every day. I don’t care, as long as we can be together.”

Kathryn blinked at him a few times, squeezed his hand, and turned back toward the waterfall. She put her hands on her hips, and Chakotay knew she was thinking. Her russet dress fluttered around her ankles in the breeze. She stood there until the twin suns dropped in the sky to just the right angle and two brilliant rainbows appeared in the spray of the waterfall.

“Chakotay!” Kathryn gasped, “Isn’t that beautiful!”

Chakotay was at her side in an instant. She reached for his hand without taking her eyes off the twin rainbows that seemed near enough to touch. Kathryn pulled him closer until they were a few feet from the edge and Chakotay could feel the mist of the waterfall on his face. She held out her free hand toward the rainbow. He looked at her face, knowing the wonder he would see there. He wasn’t disappointed. This was his Kathryn, fascinated by the natural beauties of the galaxy around her. He knew there wasn’t a thought of the ship or it’s crew in her head at that moment, so he took a chance.

“Kathryn, may I kiss you?”

She looked at him with her mouth slightly open, the exquisite scene around them completely forgotten.

Then she kissed him. 

Chakotay shouldn’t have been surprised, it was his idea after all, but he was, so much so that he stumbled backward before he found his balance with Kathryn in his arms. She had her arms around his neck and was holding tight to him, as if she would fall with him rather than let go. At first the feeling of her in his arms--completely real and warm and woman and Kathryn--was overwhelming. Her lips on his were firm; he could feel that she meant this kiss. Chakotay kissed Kathryn back then, hungrily and passionately and thoroughly. The warmth growing in his heart was like an orchestra swelling to crescendo, and he felt like it might overpower him, so he began to focus on how he kissed Kathryn, trying to put all his love into the tender caress of his lips on hers. When she responded in kind his heart sang. His only thought was that Kathryn was his world.

They kissed, lost in the feeling of each other, until the first sun went down. Kathryn pulled her lips away then but kept her eyes closed. She looked so peaceful and content and happy. Blissful. Chakotay memorized the look of joy on her face, not knowing if or when he would see her look like that again. The second sun was not far behind it's twin and they turned to watch it set still holding each other as close as possible. As soon as both suns had set the world around them began to glow--but not golden or pinkish like an evening on Earth. Everything, from the crystal rocks to the sky, was glowing chartreuse: their surroundings were bathed in a bright yellowish green light. They both looked around with wide eyes. Even the waterfall was faintly green. 

Kathryn started laughing first, and Chakotay laughed with her. “This planet is full of surprises,” Kathryn said, just as her combadge trilled.

“Tuvok to Captain Janeway.”

“Janeway here.”

“Captain, we have encountered a problem with transporter function. Due to atmospheric conditions, we will not be able to transport you or the Commander back to Voyager until the planet’s morning.”


	3. Night on an Unnamed Planet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is also dedicated to Loopdeloup, who hopefully will be OK with me integrating "The Talk" into my story. It is awesome, I couldn't help it. Read it if you haven't yet!

Chakotay looked at Kathryn. She looked back at him. 

“Understood, Lieutenant. Have the other crew members already returned to the ship?”

“Yes, Captain. The scheduled leave times ended 47 minutes ago.”

That meant Chakotay had been on the surface for two and a half hours.

“Tuvok,” Chakotay began, “why didn’t you remind me when my hour had passed?”

Kathryn looked at him like she was just realizing she had left him in command of Voyager and he wasn’t supposed to be on the planet with her.

“I,” Tuvok paused, “wanted you to have the time you needed. I was unfortunately unaware of the density of the ionic field on the dark side of the planet. Furthermore, communications will likely be affected as you rotate farther away from the suns.”

Kathryn took a few steps toward the sunset, as if she wanted to try to catch up with the light side of the planet. “Kathryn,” Chakotay said as he put his hand on her arm, “it’s only one night. They will be O.K.”

“Tuvok,” Kathryn asked, “is there any chance this interference is being caused by an alien vessel?”  
“No, Captain. Lieutenant Torres, Seven, and I agree this is a natural phenomenon. Voyager must remain on the daylight side of the planet or more of the ship’s systems will be affected.”

“Well, you have command, Lieutenant. Please continue sensor sweeps of this system,” Kathryn requested.

“Tuvok,” Chakotay began, “have sensors shown any higher animal life on this planet?”

“No, Commander, the ecosystem appears to consist of vegetation and insect life only.”

Chakotay remembered the velvet blue butterflies. Then he remembered a burrowing insect on a different planet. Apparently Kathryn did too because she gave him a worried look.

He laughed, because it was absurd to think that was likely to happen again, and Kathryn laughed too. 

“We’ll be alright,” Kathryn said. “Although we might get hungry.”

Tuvok’s voice came over the com once more, “I regret to report, the only edible foodstuffs Neelix was able to harvest from the planet were some colorful leaves and flowers he identified as ‘salad greens’. Unfortunately, sensors indicate the…inaccessible…location.”

“Tuvok?” Kathryn tried. There was no response. 

C=:C=:C=:

Having passed the binary stars the day before, Voyager had approached this planet from its daylight side. Perhaps their sensor analysis had been tinted by optimism and an urgent need for shore leave because they had neglected thedark side of the planet altogether. It _was_ dark. The moonless pitch black sky had briefly shown them a brilliant display of the Delta Quadrant’s stars, and they even saw a rather unfamiliar arm of the Milky Way smeared across the heavens above them. They had paused in their search for shelter to stargaze when the valley below them began to glow. The scene was mesmerizing, but as they looked more closely they saw it was made by hundreds of huge bioluminescent moths that gradually changed in color from a glowing bluish green to an electric blue, then to a bright lavender and back through the spectrum to bluish green. The moths gently floated over a field of giant pink flowers that were more like Chrysanthemums than anything else. Chakotay realized that as he had passed the field earlier in the day the flowers must have been closed because then they had looked like bulbous pink trees with hairy tufts at their tops. 

As they watched, the moths began to disappear. Within about 20 seconds, the field of giant flowers went completely dark. Kathryn looked up at Chakotay just as he looked at her. A second later the first lightning bolt lit the sky with a flash of neon pink light. Before they had time to think about what might make lightening pink rain started cascading down from huge storm clouds that must have rolled in when they were watching the moths.

Chakotay took Kathryn’s hand as they ran down the slippery path into the pink Chrysanthemum-tree forest. Kathryn ducked under the first flower they came to, only to immediatelyjerk Chakotay back out into the rain. 

“What’s wrong?” Chakotay asked as the same thing happened when they reached the second flower. She ducked under only to back away before Chakotay had a chance to get under the flower. The rain was running down his face in waves. He was beginning to feel like the waterfall. He could just make out Kathryn trying to answer him in the dark but he couldn’t hear her over the storm. She pulled him by his hand toward another flower-tree, but it was apparently wrong too and she tried a fourth, then a fifth. The sixth was finally right because after a moment she pulled him under with her. 

“What was wrong with the other flowers?” Chakotay had to yell to be heard. 

“The moths got there first.” Kathryn made a little flapping motion with her arms, “They are almost as big as me.” 

Chakotay couldn’t help laughing, although he tried to contain it. He knew Kathryn didn’t like being teased about being small. He was rewarded with a glare.

Hair, uniforms, and socks were soaked. _Everything_ was soaked. Their boots were full of water. They stood dripping, looking out through a curtain of rain that poured off the circumference of the flower and was periodically illuminated by the pink flashes from the sky. Kathryn began to shiver. Chakotay stood behind her and put his arms around her, looking over her head to watch the storm. After a few minutes Kathryn stopped shivering and leaned her wet head back onto his shoulder.After a minute Chakotay leaned down a bit and put his lips on her cheek in a lingering kiss. Kathryn turned toward him and kissed him full on the lips then, until thunder crashed and Chakotay felt Kathryn jump a little in his arms breaking their kiss.

“Perhaps this planet is a little like New Earth,” Chakotay said, but Kathryn just shook her head. The storm was too loud for them to hear each other. So Chakotay gathered her in his arms again and spoke close to hear ear. Then he trailed kisses from her ear to her mouth. Kathryn seemed more interested in kissing him than responding until finally she began kissing his cheek, over his stubble toward his ear. 

“No, New Earth was…” Kathryn began, but she didn’t finish her thought, turning her head away from him. She began trying to squeeze the water from her hair, but Chakotay didn’t let go of her and turned her gently back toward him. Finally she looked at him and he gave her an encouraging nod. Kathryn sighed and pulled his head down so she could speak close to his ear. Her words came out in a rush.

“New Earth was hope and despair, giving up on ever getting home and coming home at the same time. We were prisoners there but I was more free than I have ever been. Some days,” she paused, looking out into the rain, “I would give anything to be back there.”

“Me too,” Chakotay whispered into her ear and wrapped her more tightly in his arms. After a moment he pulled her ear close again. “You asked why I was proposing marriage now. A few weeks ago I overheard Tuvok reminding a former Maquis crewman of a Starfleet regulation I was unfamiliar with. I pulled up the manual that night, and after I reviewed the regulation Tuvok had quoted, I decided to have a look at the section on appropriate conduct for Captains. You know, I guess I never thought I would command a ship, or if I ever did I could just read it then. A few pages in it says a Captain may not make romantic overtures or sexual advances toward any subordinate. But that was all it said, it didn’t say a Captain couldn’t have a relationship with a crew member. So I realized I could make romantic overtures if I wanted a relationship with you. And I have wanted that for so long Kathryn. I feel like I’ve wasted years of my life because I didn’t read that regulation a long time ago. I’ve never told you how I felt because I thought as Captain, you would let me know if you wanted a different relationship, and I didn’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable. And of course there was Tuvok.”

“Tuvok?” Kathryn jerked her head to look in his eyes. He read Tuvok’s name on her lips because the storm was still so noisy. Chakotay sighed and pulled Kathryn’s ear close to his lips again.

“Tuvok warned me away years ago. He said you were engaged, you had decided against becoming involved with any of your crew, and I was welcome to date anyone on the ship but you. He said you needed my support but nothing else. I’m pretty sure he knew I was already in love with you.”

Kathryn shook her head a little, a small smile and a wistful look in her eyes. Then she looked back at Chakotay, putting her hands on the back of his neck and kissed him, first on the mouth, and then she started kissing toward his ear once again. 

“I’m glad you found the loophole in the regulations.” Chakotay gave a little huff at that to which Kathryn responded, “Really, I am. I am grateful to have the choice. I just can’t wrap my mind around you not being my first officer. When I can’t command the ship it is so comforting to know you are there taking care of her—taking care of them, just as well as you have taken care of me. It makes me feel safe, and there is so much in this Quadrant that doesn’t feel safe. I don’t know if I can give that up.” Kathryn was quiet for a moment, then she went on, “Not that I don’t feel safe with Tuvok in command. It’s just that, if I were…gone…dead…I know Tuvok would make sound, logical command decisions. I’m just not sure he would take care of the crew. Consider their feelings, you know. Remember what happened when we were on New Earth.”

_Mutiny._ That’s what it really was. Hard to forget. 

Chakotay didn’t like this conversation. Kathryn’s death and mutiny were topics he would rather avoid. But they needed to talk about it all. Chakotay wanted to know every thought Kathryn had that might keep her from saying yes to his proposal. He also needed her to understand him. Pulling her into a kiss, he began trailing kisses toward her ear again.

“Kathryn,” he whispered in her ear, “I need to tell you that…if you were to die…I couldn’t do it anyway. I mean, I couldn’t captain Voyager. Loosing you would be more than I could bear, and there is no way I could take on your role and sit in your chair every day. For a long time I thought I would be able to do it, for you, but I know now that I couldn’t. I would end up turning command over to Tuvok anyway.”

Kathryn was still. Chakotay let her think. The storm seemed to finally be easing a little and the other flower-trees were just visible as shadows through the mist and rain. 

“How long have you know this?” Kathryn asked. He could hear her then, even though she wasn’t speaking into his ear. Chakotay adjusted his arms around her. 

“Since you were assimilated.”

“Why haven’t you told me before now?” 

“Because I would do anything for you, and you are the Captain. I can’t separate you from your position, so I just keep trying to be what you need me to be. I’ll keep doing that no matter what you choose, whether you are an Admiral or a gardener of Talaxian tomatoes.” Chakotay paused for few seconds, pondering what to tell her. “I have asked my spirit guide for help, but I still haven’t been able to understand the vision she showed me.”

“Chakotay,” Kathryn put one hand on his chest. “I am afraid if Tuvok were in command of Voyager he would find it logical to land on the nearest class M planet and stay. But I thought I could trust you to get Voyager home.”

Chakotay looked down at the sparkling crystal covered ground. “The truth is, Tuvok has a wife and four children, maybe even grandchildren, waiting for him in the Alpha Quadrant. I have much less waiting for me. My home was destroyed and nearly all my family and friends have been killed. I have my sister there, but the real reason I want to get back to Earth is because that’s where you are going. If you wanted to stay here in the Delta Quadrant, I would want to stay too. You are my home, Kathryn. You’re the only home I need.”

They met in a kiss that was sweet and tender and filled Chakotay with peace. Kissing Kathryn would always feel like his angry, wayward spirit was coming home to a quiet place with a warm hearth. He was getting so used to that joyful place he began to worry about how he would cope if she turned down his offer of marriage.

Kathryn sagged a little in his arms and he realized how tired they both were. There was really no way for them to both sleep comfortably under that rather ridiculous flower-tree, so Chakotay sat on the ground and settled his back against the trunk-stem and tried to help Kathryn find a way to lean comfortably against him. 

“I’ll keep watch, you sleep,” he said. 

“Who’s giving the orders here?” Kathryn retorted sleepily. Chakotay just chuckled.


	4. Morning on an Unnamed Planet

Morning was, somewhat predictably, beautiful. With the cool colored world still wet and dripping, the twin suns rose and made everything sparkle.

Kathryn slept until the sunlight shone right on her face. Then she snuggled into Chakotay’s chest to get away from the light. Chakotay chuckled.

His dimples were the first thing Kathryn saw that morning. She couldn’t resist kissing one of those dimples, and so she did, but the movement caused her body to remember she had just spent the night in a rather uncomfortable position. She realized Chakotay must be even more uncomfortable, since he had been her pillow. Hurrying to get up so he could move, her hand slipped on a wet crystal rock and she fell on her elbow. Chakotay, having stood himself up more gracefully, pulled her up and frowned at her arm. Twisting it around so she could see what he saw she found her elbow and a good part of her sleeve covered in blood. 

“I guess shore leave is over.” Chakotay sounded concerned and disappointed at the same time. 

“I’ll be fine. We can—“ Kathryn began, but was interrupted by her combadge.

“Tuvok to Captain Janeway.”

Kathryn automatically reached for her com badge then winced at the pain in her arm. Chakotay automatically put a concerned hand on her shoulder. The gesture was one he had used to show his support many times, but it bothered Kathryn then, and it never had before. She knew what it meant: they were back in their command roles. Suddenly a longing hit her so intense she wanted to scream. Although she immediately gained control of herself, she found she couldn’t speak, nor could she look at Chakotay, so she took a few steps away from him. She could hear him behind her talking to Tuvok, explaining her minor injury and asking for three minutes before transporting them back to Voyager. She wondered what he wanted to do for three minutes and then panicked when she remembered his proposal by the waterfall. Maybe he would demand she give him an answer before they left the planet. She turned back to him and, finding her voice, began, “Chakotay, I don’t—“ but she was stopped by his arms around her. He just pulled her close and held her. For three minutes they stood, arms around each other, then she felt Chakotay kiss the hair on the top of her head. 

“Please remember I love you, Kathryn,” he said, and then pulled away and touched his combadge.

“Chakotay to Tuvok, the Captain is ready to beam up but I need to stay here for another minute or two.” As he spoke to Tuvok he was looking around the ground under their Chrysanthemum-tree, nudging some of the sparkling rocks with the toe of his boot.

Kathryn just stared at Chakotay as the lovely planet bathed in the greenish sunrise disappeared around her. She couldn’t understand why he was staying behind.

Still curious, Kathryn stayed in the transporter room listening to Tuvok’s status report and explanation of the planet’s unique ionosphere when Chakotay finally materialized on the transporter pad. He had a look of satisfaction and relief so apparent she couldn’t take her eyes off him. He beamed at her as he stepped off the transporter pad, his dimples, as usual, making her heart do a little flip. If he knew how those dimples affected her she knew he would smile more often, but she had never told him.

Chakotay actually winked at her just as he walked out the door of the transporter room, only to reappear through the door a moment later, offering her his arm and saying, “Sickbay?”

Kathryn glanced at Tuvok who looked slightly amused and then took her first officer’s arm. It wasn’t until they were in sickbay and she was sitting on the biobed that she noticed Chakotay’s hand was clenched tightly as if he were holding something.

“Did you bring back a souvenir, Commander?” Kathryn teased.

Chakotay tugged his ear and muttered something, turning toward the door as if he was going to leave sickbay, and then he decided to stay, but stood behind the doctor’s computer console with his hands behind his back. Kathryn’s curiosity grew exponentially as she watched him. His eyes did not move from the Doctor’s console screen. Once her wound was healed, Chakotay made an excuse and headed for his office, but Kathryn went straight back to the transporter room. She wasn’t sure what she would find, but she was surprised when the transporter log showed a small amount of gold had been transported along with Chakotay. She checked scans of the planet. There was no gold detected on the surface. Kathryn determined she _would_ find out what those few grams of gold were doing being carried around by her first officer.

C=:C=:C=:

Further investigation was delayed by trade negotiations with some overly eager and overly procedural aliens and Kathryn’s opportunity didn’t come until almost a week later. 

Kathryn hadn't had time to think about Chakotay’s offer of marriage. She barely had time to eat in that week. She certainly hadn’t had time to sit and look at the holo-images the doctor had taken of that planet. After making his images into a screensaver, the doctor had gifted it to the whole crew. The only screen on board that still defaulted to the Federation seal was in Kathryn’s ready room. Every other console on the ship was a vibrant spash of color against Voyager's grey decor. Kathryn didn't have time to dwell on how monochromatic her ship seemed since she got back from that planet. She knew she needed to remind everyone the new screen saver wasn’t regulation, she just hadn’t had time yet. She hadn’t had time to talk to Chakotay, except about the friendly aliens with whom his help had been essential. Captain Janeway certainly had not, when she finally got to bed each night, had time to remember the warmth of sleeping in Chakotay’s arms, or the way kissing him by the waterfall had made her feel loved, wanted, and needed in a way she never felt before. There was no time to remember how his kisses under the flower-tree had felt so warm on her cold wet cheeks. She just hadn’t had time to think about how she felt when he—the man she relied on and confided in, who was so strong and handsome and brave—said he loved her. However, one morning as she drank her coffee, she thought of a plan to solve the mystery of Chakotay’s gold.

She suggested they have their weekly dinner in Chakotay’s quarters rather than hers this week, to which he readily agreed, and then on the evening of the dinner she sent him to help B’Elanna hunt down a power failure in one of the gel packs on deck fourteen. Arriving deliberately five minutes early, Kathryn didn’t bother with the door chime, since she knew Chakotay was not there. 

“Janeway to Chakotay,” she commed, I am at your quarters for our dinner.” She injected a little bit of annoyance into her voice, for authenticity. 

“Go on in, Captain, I’m in a Jeffries Tube twelve decks down. I’ll just finish up here and I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Are you sure, Commander?”

“Of course, Kathryn, make yourself comfortable.”


	5. An Evening in Chakotay's Quarters

Kathryn couldn’t help grinning as she punched in her override code to open the door and flipped out her tricorder. She had already set it to scan for gold. Nine meters straight ahead, the tricorder indicated. She pivoted the instrument from side to side until she was sure. The gold was in the bedroom. Overriding her internal twinge of guilt, she followed the readings on her tricorder, hardly looking where she went, until she was standing beside Chakotay’s bed. The tricorder beeped incessantly at a small leather drawstring bag on his nightstand. She flipped her tricorder shut and reached for the bag, hesitating again before she picked it up and pulled it open. Dumping it out in her hand she gasped. There in her palm was a breathtaking diamond ring. The gold was worked in fine, rough threads around four diamonds--one large and three smaller--which were arranged in a natural way as if they were wild roses on an unkept vine. 

Tears came to Kathryn’s eyes, although she couldn’t have explained why. She put the ring on without thinking. It fit perfectly, of course, and looked even more beautiful on her finger. For a minute she just looked at her hand. Here she had been, playing games, and Chakotay was nothing but sincere. He had asked her to marry him a week ago and she hadn’t even taken the time to decide on an answer. She sat down on his bed without thinking. That made her realize where she was and she looked around, really seeing her surroundings for the first time. Chakotay’s bed, unmade, the dark blue covers crumpled. The room smelled like him. A picture of his sister on his nightstand and a picture of herself with Chakotay at the luau years ago. He looked so happy in that picture, and she looked…younger. What would it be like to spend every evening together? She ran her hand over the sheets. Hmm, she had a pretty good idea how wonderful _that_ would be. 

She pulled the ring off and replaced it in the bag on the nightstand, but her thoughts about merging her life with Chakotay’s did not stop. She glanced in the bathroom, and the mixture of clutter and organization she saw there made her smile. Back in the main room she noticed the comfortable, friendly way the seating furniture was arranged with a throw blanket over one of the chairs and Chakotay’s medicine bundle on the coffee table. All the colors were earth tones, and she realized Chakotay’s quarters felt more comfortable and more like home than her own. She went to the table and began setting it for dinner as if it were her own. As she did, she came to know she could live with Chakotay, and he with her, and although she knew she couldn’t guarantee there would never be anything but love between them, she knew the love she felt and the longing to be with Chakotay would overcome practically anything the Delta Quadrant or life could throw at them. 

They _would_ overcome anything, because Kathryn decided right then that if she was going to give up the best first officer in Starfleet to marry him, she was going to make the marriage work no matter what it took. She set some candles on the table and lit them. Why had she wasted these years? She couldn’t spare a thought for regret, however, because her entire body was more alive than she had ever felt, from the way everything seemed to glow in her eyes to the butterflies in her stomach to the slightly bouncy feeling in her feet and the overwhelming peace in her heart. She felt completely full of potential. She was getting the plates out when the door opened and she dropped both plates, barely registering the crash as she rushed to Chakotay. She threw her arms around his neck and went up on her toes to kiss him. Just as he recovered from her surprise attack and wrapped his arms around her and began to return her kiss, Kathryn realized she had forgotten something important.

“Yes,” she said, looking in his chocolate brown eyes and laughing, “Yes!”


	6. One Morning in the Conference Room

Voyager's entire senior staff was assembled around the conference table.

“Alright, everyone, we have some business to deal with today.” Kathryn began. “We’ll handle the rank changes first. Tuvok, you have served aboard this ship in an exemplary manner. Today I am promoting you from Lieutenant Commander to Commander.” Tuvok was standing at attention now, being the only one who had been briefed ahead of this meeting. Kathryn attached a new silver pip to his collar.

Ensign Harry Kim watched Tuvok receive his promotion with silent envy and resignation. He had been told that, essentially, he could count on remaining an Ensign until Voyager returned to the Alpha Quadrant. However long that took. Harry focused on not feeling bitter as he watched _Commander_ Tuvok take his seat. 

“Next, Mr. Kim,” the Captain said. Harry’s mind registered the meaning behind the words immediately, but he didn’t move. He was still focused on Tuvok, and the colors in the room suddenly seemed too bright and then all blurry. Captain Janeway’s voice sounded like an echo from far away, asking him to stand. Then too many people were talking. He heard his name a lot but none of their other words had meaning. Harry felt the table under his hands, cool and smooth. Then he felt the doc’s hand on his shoulder. With an effort, Harry blinked and shook his head a little. 

“I’m OK doc,” Harry managed to say. He knew he was expected to stand so he began to rise from his chair but his head started to feel like it was swimming so he sat back down. 

“Take your time,” the Doctor said gently. Harry looked at the Captain, who smiled indulgently. Taking a deep breath, he counted to three and slowly stood. He could feel the Doc hovering behind him as he walked toward the Captain. Harry was sure this was a dream. 

“You’ve earned this, Harry,” Captain Janeway said as she pinned a shiny new silver pip on his collar. Harry thanked her then looked around at all the smiles directed at him. 

“Computer, end program,” he tried. When nothing happened he shrugged and said, “When Tom is your best friend you can never be too sure.” Everyone laughed and began to pat Harry on the back as he made his way back to his chair.

Captain Janeway went on as soon as the room was quiet, “We will have one more promotion, but it will have to wait because I want each of you to have an opportunity to respond to today’s changes.” She took a deep breath. All eyes were on her, smiles and pats on the back were gone. “As of today, Commander Chakotay will no longer be Voyager’s first officer.” Kathryn paused, not for dramatic effect, but because she could see that there were six brains struggling to make sense of her announcement and she knew she would loose them if she went on too quickly. Tuvok was the only one who had been forewarned, as she had felt she needed to offer the position of first officer to him privately. Tuvok had thought it most logical to assume Chakotay had chosen to leave the ship and settle somewhere in the Delta Quadrant. He even asked if Chakotay would be taking a shuttle with him. Now Tuvok was looking with confusion at the elated smile on Chakotay’s face. Several others began to whisper. Kathryn heard someone saying “he must have really crossed the line” and someone else whisper “a falling out.” She held up both her hands, silencing them all. 

“Commander Chakotay will fill a new position on this ship. He will become our ship’s counsellor, serving under the doctor’s supervision.”

Six pairs of wide eyes looked at Kathryn. Chakotay gave her a gentle smile, encouraging her to go on, so she proceeded to outline the remaining shuffle of the Voyager’s leadership. Tuvok would be her first officer. Harry second officer (Harry could not respond to this with more than wide eyes and a nod) and Mike Ayala the new tactical officer. Ayala was in the hall waiting to come in and receive his new rank bar and position. But first, Kathryn wanted to address any concerns her staff might have.

“Why?” Was the most common question. Once she made it clear she would not be explaining herself, only addressing concerns, the table grew quiet.

“Captain,” Tuvok began, “although our ship is in need of a counsellor and the Commander may be our best suited candidate, his counsel in command has been invaluable to you over the past five years. I fail to see the benefit in depriving yourself of such a beneficial resource.”

“Spoken like an ideal first officer.” Kathryn replied. “Tuvok—Commander—I believe you have served aboard ships with counsellors in the past?” Tuvok gave her a nod. Kathryn went on, “Then you probably know a ship’s counsellor serves as the captain’s advisor whenever needed. Although Commander Chakotay will not technically be part of the senior staff, he will be invited to join our senior staff meetings and may be present on the bridge for a portion of his duty shift.”

Kathryn looked at Tuvok to make sure she had resolved his concern. He raised his eyebrows and nodded slightly. Kathryn looked around the table, but no one else spoke. 

“Very well then. I hope you have all also considered Mr. Ayala’s promotion and new position? Any concerns there?”

Silence again. Then Tuvok spoke, “He will be an adequate chief of security, with some additional training.”

Kathryn nodded. “Neelix, would you please ask Mr. Ayala to join us.”

She went through the motions, pinning the full lieutenant’s rank bar to Ayala’s collar and seating him at the table—in her own chair because she had not thought to have an extra chair brought in. Neelix would have thought of that, had he known. 

As the staff began talking among themselves again, Chakotay stood and moved to Kathryn’s side, taking her hand. He looked at her for permission one last time. She smiled and nodded.

“I also have an announcement,” Chakotay began.

Fourteen eyes were on them and their joined hands, but just as Chakotay opened his mouth to go on B’Elanna let out a squeak and began to clap her hands, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. When everyone looked at her she put both hands over her mouth.

Chakotay knew he had only a few seconds before B’E couldn’t hold in her excitement any longer so he rushed on, “Kathryn and I are engaged to be married. We would like Tuvok to perform the ceremony next week.”

The clapping and cheering in the conference room could be heard on the bridge, in the science labs on the first three decks, and, to Borg enhanced ears, even in Astrometrics, where Seven of Nine was examining an alien star chart and comparing it to her sensor readings and Borg knowledge. She had declined the Captain’s invitation to the senior staff meeting, citing her lack of concern for rank and the positions of various members of the crew. She would review the revised ship’s manifest after the meeting, she had declared, a much more efficient way to absorb such information. After Seven’s shift she stopped by the Captain’s ready room to inquire about the unusual noise she had heard during the meeting. When Captain Janeway had informed her of her upcoming marriage, she felt such a complex twinge of emotions she couldn’t identify that she was briefly without words. Finally the appropriate human response came to her.

“Congratulations, Captain. I wish you both joy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this seems like a fairy tale, but many people make career changes and sacrifices in order to be with the ones they love. After all, in the words of Audrey Hepburn, "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."


End file.
